What a rubbish few days! I hate it when I feel unwell, I get so bored. There is only so much daytime telly a sane person can endure without becoming a Jeremy Kyle guest (sitting on the sofa screaming at the telly!).
Anyway I am back on my own two feet and ready to face the world again. We are having a street party tomorrow (weather permitting) for the first ever Armed Forces Day - Horrah! Better go as I have lots and lots to catch up on.

Had a really rubbish day today, I felt awful and in need of dialysis. I can always feel it when I go a 3 day in between sessions. If I was in the hospital for dialysis this would happen every weekend, I would have to go from Friday to Monday each week. I know I am much better at home because I can have dialysis every other day and keep as well as possible.
It is a strange feeling when you need dialysis; I get pins and needles in my hands and my legs get wobbly and I find it hard to co-ordinate my movements. I don't know if other people get this reaction as well or if everyone has their own idiosyncrasies.
I just feel wiped out now and I can't sleep because I have a headache - I sound like such a moaner. I have something to look forward to Sunday Nick is taking me flying in the morning and then my Dad and Mum are coming for lunch. I am really looking forward to it. It is always great to have a relaxing Sunday without going on dialysis it makes it all the more enjoyable.

What's new in my world today? Some rather sad news was received in the Wager household today. A fine Beech tree that grows in my back garden is having to be felled. The local birds will be disappointed as will the bat population that visit it at dusk in the summer months to feed on the myriad of insects that buzz around it. I am very sad that a mature tree has to be chopped down because it has literally outgrown it's surroundings and is now causing imminent danger to the park opposite. I have to admit it is leaning at a strange angle for a tree and a decent storm could see it uproot itself. The tree man is coming next week - I will keep you posted with my tree saga!
On a more serious note - please take the time to fill in the Welsh Assembly Government's consultation doc and write a letter voicing your support for the Opt Out System for Organ Transplantation. The documents are available to download from the Welsh Assembly Web page or from the Kidney Wales website. If you want any more information on the Opt Out System or how you can support Organ Transplantation please email me on mel@kidneywales.com

Once again I am trying to keep a diary of life on dialysis. I say trying because I am hopeless at keeping any form of diary. I have tried to keep a diary every January for the past 20 years! I usually make it to about January 10th and then can’t find anything to write or have lots to say and don’t have the time to sit down and write it.
One of the main problems of writing a diary of dialysis is it ends up sounding as if I am having one long moan about my life. This is far from the truth, if I write down exactly what goes on when you are living with kidney failure I am not moaning; I am just trying to be honest.
I can honestly say that I believe that my life is as good if not better than a lot of people who are perfectly healthy. OK I have to watch my diet and stick to a 500ml fluid restriction daily but I also live every day to the full or try to. I don’t take things for granted as some people might and say thank you for each and every day that I continue to do well on dialysis. I know that I am the only one who can help keep myself well. By watching my fluid intake, diet and ensuring I do my full dialysis time I can keep myself as well as I can be.
I don’t want to gloss over the down side of dialysis and there are days when I feel really awful. So I will try to be as accurate as possible about life on dialysis and the waiting game for a transplant.

Can't say that there is an awful lot happening today except for the fact my memory is getting much much worse, is it age or a side effect of dialysis? I a hoping that it is a side effect of dialysis because the last thing I want to admit to is getting old! When I realised that I w0uod be 40 next birthday I didn't know whether to cry or cheer. After all aking it to 40 is some achievement after all I have been through this year but the vane part of me would rather I could turn back time and relive my 30's again. 30 seemed to be the age where I was wise enough to avoid all the pitfalls but parts of my body still pointed north! Why is it the older and wiser you get the less the opposite sex seem to take any notice of you.
And once again we are on a dialysis day so later on I will be spending another mind numbing 4 hours hooked up to that noisy thing, I swear I will go deaf before i finish dialysis and I wou't just need a kidney transplant I'll need a hearing aid.

I am well and truly bored, once again I can not sleep, I wonder if other dialysis patients suffer from unsomnia. However the first question the doc asks you "Why do you think you can't sleep?" I DONT KNOW, I JUST CAN'T. I mean I have tries everything under the sun drawing the line as sleeping tablets but even those I have has for 3 days ans I must addmit I slept the sleep of the dead/ Please if anyothe reanl patients have any ideas, please pass themon, I'll ry anythinjbut I draw the line at codliver oli and tripe! Otherwise all sujjestiomswelcom.

It sometimes seems as if dialysis days come around quicker and quicker. Yet another 4 hour session which is particularly annoying today because the sun is shining and it is a glorious autumn day. It would be a wonderful day to go out and sit outside in a restaurant o pub and have a few drinks - I can dream can't I?
Nick is training to run the Cardiff half marathon in a month so anyone reading this please sponsor him on the just giving link, he is running for Kidney Wales as usual.
Better go as the machine is calling my name!